Job Dissatisfaction Gifts

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"She's always like this at this time of the month,short tempered, insecure,anxious,questioning why she does the job!" "PMT?" "Wageslip!"

'I'm not asking for a raise, Mr Betenheeler, but would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

'I started out as one of the good guys but I hated it.'

"No, my list of productivity enhancements doesn't include `leave for another company'."

'Here at A.T.G. Inc, we recognize hard work... and maybe someday we'll reward it.'

'I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of working in food service.'

I don't see a future for me in my present job. They don't reward mediocrity.

'Another day another dollar Maurice, but boy do I hate kids!'

"Instead of a holiday party, the boss gave us a coupon for a burger at the drive-thru."

The Career Cowboy

"I guess I'm just not passionate about the job anymore."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

"I've divided my workday into nine manageable segment that are each followed by a brief period of pessimism and regret."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Not much money, glory, or praise

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

Death Boss

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

Sick

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'