Experiencing Job Dissatisfaction Gifts

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"I've divided my workday into nine manageable segment that are each followed by a brief period of pessimism and regret."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Not much money, glory, or praise

"It's hard to keep good people."

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

Job complaints on road signs.

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

"Alright, fire me. But I'm taking back your "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug!"

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'I can't give you a raise... but I can rent you a cubicle.'

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

Just a little heads up!