Workplace Well-being Gifts

Office Ergonomics.

'We got here too late. All his fizz is gone!'

"When you come down can we discuss stress management?"

"Staff support"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

Days without an incident.

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

Office Safety.

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"The company offers free Yoga and aerobics. You'll bend over backwards and jump through hoops."

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

The HR department at the tech company allowed Randy the use of their therapy robot.

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

'You're right, Haskell, I should get more exercise. Tomorrow I'm turning your office into a gym.'

"Daddy needs to relax. He spent another long day at work extolling the virtues of his stand up desk."

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'