Employee Wellbeing Gifts

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"Staff support"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

Dreams I have had...

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Office Ergonomics.

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

Labor Day '19

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

Suggestion box paper shredder.

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

"It's okay to just go through the motions."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"So I can eat better here at work."

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

"Cardiac day patients?"

Office Safety.