Workplace Wellness Gifts

"We offer a comprehensive benefits plan that covers everything from minor cuts to nasty scrapes."

"The longer I work here, the bigger my stress ball needs to be".

'If only someone had listened when Harry complained about the flourescent lighting!'

Office Safety.

"Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!"

'And your workplace - would you describe it as toxic?'

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

'Inside healer'

"It's hard to keep good people."

"You have to learn to relax, even though I'm creeping you out."

"Do your really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?"

Think: Everyone's out to get me.

'Notice how much happier everyone is since I added anti-anxiety meds to our bottled water?'

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

"Wanna step outside for a sit break?"

'Now look what you've done!! You've aggravated my CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!'

Apparently there was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui.

"Your job performance is excellent, but surveillance video shows you've developed bad posture and an alarming facial tic."

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting out of bed in the morning; you know we do have counsellors in the building if you feel you need support with that."

"I wish you would quit referring to this establishment as a sweatshop!"

The HR department at the tech company allowed Randy the use of their therapy robot.

"You're fired, Pembroke. We're turning the office into a smoke-free environment."

"Sorry, no sick day leave if you're just sick of working here."

'Well, I guess there's another burnt out employee, call H.R., Miss Higgins!'

Finance, Sales, Veal.

'I'm here to offer you the company's free preventive health counseling...DON'T GET SICK OR ELSE!'

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"C.J. would you teach me how to do that?"

'Another one crying for attention!'

'Our company health plan consists of our encouragement of you to wash your hands often.'

'Never say, ‘I can't do it.' Say, ‘It may be possible.' Sounds less negative and more like the author of a self-help book.'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.