Workplace Health Gifts

Health and Safety

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

"Your posture is better, but the whole office calls you Professor Bouncy Jerk. F.Y.I."

Days without an incident.

"On the one hand your flexibility is good for the company. On the other hand the chiropractors' bills are not."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"This is weird. Our new account rep is requesting a chair."

"No, this is not a hazmat suit, this is a waring label that the material of this coverall is hazardous to one's health."

"Staff support"

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"We need a union!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

Time Out For Teddy

Office Ergonomics.

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Labor Day '19

No Smoking.

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.