Industrial Health Gifts

"It was garbled, but I think the boss said that the fumes we were smelling are harmless."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Bench Press Accident

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Time Out For Teddy

Office Ergonomics.

Safety Barriers

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

Wear a helmet

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'This is your lucky day!'

'You forgot the product label.'

"And this is another economic indicator."

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'Yes, I did tell you to hang the fire extinguisher where it would be easy to reach, but...'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

Days without an incident.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."