Occupational Health Experts Gifts

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Time Out For Teddy

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

Urine Catcher

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Days without an incident.

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Office Safety.

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Safety meeting.

"Have you ever worked in a noisy environment, and suffered hearing loss as a result?"

Safety last.

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

Vis10n Impaired

'She's responsible for the smoking ban.'

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."