Industrial Health Expert Gifts

'I was giving a lecture on industrial health and safety when I tripped over a microphone cable and fell off the stage!'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Time Out For Teddy

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"And this is another economic indicator."

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

Days without an incident.

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

"Have you ever worked in a noisy environment, and suffered hearing loss as a result?"

Safety last.

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

Vis10n Impaired

"Actually I feel great but I read on the coronavirus blog that that might just be a symptom."

"Still having some problems with the halitosis Mr Bobbins?"

How did I go from the 3 martini power lunch to the low-carb 3 grain power bar?

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

Work Accidents

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.