Occupational Safety Expert Gifts

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Time Out For Teddy

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

Labor Day '19

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

First Aid Box

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

Office Safety.

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

Health and Safety Guidelines.

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

'This ladder is rotten!'

'Sorry boss, I've decided to live dangerously and become a shelf filler.'

'It's an old work injury.'

'Ouch! I thought this was supposed to be 'softball'?'

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."