Industrial Safety Specialist Gifts

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

Nuclear Power Station

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"We'll get there when we get there!"

Time Out For Teddy

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Nuclear waste.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Is this what they call inherent safety?

The hall of bad ideas.

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

Wear a helmet

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."