Industrial Hygienist Gifts

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).

'I think we should report this coffee to the environmental inspector.'

"It was garbled, but I think the boss said that the fumes we were smelling are harmless."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Whack-a-molecule

Time Out For Teddy

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'You forgot the product label.'

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

'What are you doing? We only take the teeth they leave under the pillow.'

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

Hand Sanitizer: Please Be Considerate To Your Fellow Evolvers

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

"Spread the gospel, not germs. Wash your hands!"

Work Accidents

'You are not landing on your dinner with those clean feet!'

"Still having some problems with the halitosis Mr Bobbins?"

'Now, be reasonable about this pay-rise: I could just buy a toothbrush and you would be out of a job...'

'I know this is a spit and sawdust place, but why is it in the beer?'

"I guess I don't have to give you another toothbrush, since I suspect the one I gave you last time is still as good as new."

A shark flosses with a fishing line.

Noah calls out: 'Hey, could we have some volunteers to stay and help clean up?'

Elephant's tusks are in a glass by the bed.

'This hospital certainly takes cleanliness seriously.'

"What's this on the menu?"

'I think that's the last time mom will ever ask us to wash up before dinner.'

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

"It's not gravy. Your French Fries fell on the floor."

'So what are you doing tonight, babe?'