Health & Safety Consultant Gifts

"Can ANYONE tell me the POINT of Health and Safety?"

Be Healthy

Man using to much bug spray

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Bench Press Accident

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Cafe Burns.

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Safety Barriers

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

Wear a helmet

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

'This is your lucky day!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

Speeding Forklift

'Yes, I did tell you to hang the fire extinguisher where it would be easy to reach, but...'

First Aid Box