Corporate Health Gifts

"And this is another economic indicator."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Storm in the out tray

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Working hours.

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Born In Captivity.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"At this office no two days are different."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'