Corporate Wellness Advocate Gifts

'Our health plan is that you do push-ups at your desk.'

'You're thinking too much about your business.'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

Heart shaped man exercising with weights.

"The company offers free Yoga and aerobics. You'll bend over backwards and jump through hoops."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

'You're right, Haskell, I should get more exercise. Tomorrow I'm turning your office into a gym.'

"I maybe a little overweight, I'm wearing make up today."

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

GPs should provide 'forest bathing' on the NHS says charity.

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

'Inside healer'

'Now, that's more ergonomic...'

"On your application, it says you have narcolepsy. What is that?"

Simply climbing the ladder of success wasn't fulfilling out corporate wellness goals.