Corporate Wellness Coordinator Gifts

'I'm here to offer you the company's free preventive health counseling...DON'T GET SICK OR ELSE!'

"Putting a trampoline in the breakroom to inspire fitness wasn't one of my best ideas."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Be Healthy

Unguided imagery

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

Office Ergonomics.

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

Final words on gravestones.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

"This is what I took away from the meeting."

Mental health

Peace. Love. Light

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

Office Safety.

"Ready to head back?"

"The company offers free Yoga and aerobics. You'll bend over backwards and jump through hoops."