Happy Worker Gifts

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

Business Vacation.

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'Since you were late to work so often, we should have given the watch when you started 43 years ago.'

If only it was true...'I'm raising all your salaries by 50%...'

"You go the extra mile for us, but in the wrong direction."

"I see here it's been quite a while since your last performance review."

'It may be goofing off to you, but to me it's biding my time.'

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

"I love my job!"

"This is the software for my head."

Lunch.

'I'm leaving early cos I didn't come in so late'

One of the positives of having to 'Shelter in Place'...

Lethargics Anonymous - In, Out and Pending Trays.

"Finding $20 while on bathroom clean-up duty."

110% Job Performance.

'Yours is an inspiring tale of struggle, self-sacrifice and company loyalty. I suppose my question is, so what?'

'It's nothing personal. It's just that going after your job is in my job description.'

"He usually works from home."

'I love my job, but the hours are terrible!'

"Watson is clear-headed, enthusiastic, brimming with energy...it must be 5 o'clock."

'Reading the want ads? No, they just happened to be on the same page as this fascinating story on...um...cosmetics.'

'Thanks for the 4 day work week. Now Thursdays are the new Fridays!'

"We don't normally wrap birthday presents here. It's all part of our 'no surprises' policy."

"Is the information fresh?"

U.S. Mint. I think we deserve a raise --- Our productivity is certainly up!