Happy Executives Gifts

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Occu-Pie Mars

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"He likes it."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

Internet.

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"We like to think of ourselves as a very progressive company. After all, a little self-delusion never hurt anyone."