Workplace Success Gifts

"Because, Malcolm, you haven't earned your stripes."

Butterfly Woman

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Bullseye!

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

My brilliant career

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

The rope to success.

Win - win

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

Business is off the chart.

Boom

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

We Made a Fortune! 'That's good enough for me. I don't really need the specifics...'

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

Jumping Man

Office Ergonomics.

"Oh, I can't complain"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"My rise in the company was solely based on convincing management that I was a nerd in high school."

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

Corporate Success

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"