Professional Success Gifts

"His grant application was accepted."

'There's no doubt about it -- you're a woman on her way up.'

'Now that I've clawed my way to the top, I'd like a manicure.'

Butterfly Woman

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Bullseye!

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

Business is off the chart.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

The rope to success.

Win - win

Boom

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Mum, I got the job!"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'You are a self-starter... problem is, you never finish anything.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Tenacity trumps everything!

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

Not much money, glory, or praise

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."