Workplace Enjoyment Gifts

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'These are job perks.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

National Boss Monument.

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

"I go that extra mile!"

"As you can see, we have a very flexible work-from-home-at-the-office policy."

InIn by-products.

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.