Workout Gifts

'The directions were easy to understand...until you got past step 2.'

"Remember when these were all yoga centers?"

Anaerobics

No Exercise

"Whatever."

Battery lifting weights

The Phitness Quartet

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

Machine, be good to me this year. Or else, I'm sticking you under the bed again.

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

'Relax. I'm the Trim Reaper. I'm here for hr flabby thighs and your spare tire.'

"Nice work- let's take a quick social-media break."

"You exercise with your phone?"

"You're doing great - keep it up."

Traffic warden directing people in the gym.

Martial Arts

'71...72...73... Come on! Fell the burn!'

Zumba

Pregnant woman doing exercises.

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

Elephant chases peanut on stick while running on treadmill.

"My career in weight lifting has become a huge headache."

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

East bound, south bound, muscle bound.

Gym. What is your body telling you now? It's more of a "ranting" than a "telling."

When I said you were Ripped, Bob, I didn't mean your muscles.

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"We're exclusively delts."

"It's almost EXACTLY like being outdoors."

"Before I continue, can we just lose the personal trainers?"

"Personal space trainer"

"Crunch gym"

"Let me call you from a different machine."

"Now that I've got it, what, exactly, do I do with my newfound strength?"