Workouts Gifts

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'I'm working off Saturday's sundae.'

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

"David a word about your yoga pants."

"Lay off the pull ups, and do more push ups."

"My personal trainer couldn't get it through his head that my arms are too short to touch my toes, so I ate him."

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

Gym. Have you lost any weight yet? No, but at the moment I'm having difficulty finding my breath.

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

"You were right, we should've used a smaller medicine ball."

"Remember, guys – what happens in this CrossFit gym is references ad nauseam outside this CrossFit gym

Spring Training

Sit ups.

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

The real reason bears lose weight when they hibernate.

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

"I see you still haven't mastered the exercise ball."

"You've been in child's pose for almost three weeks. Just checking everything's OK. . ."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth."

"Do you have a motorized one?"

"I came here to get in shape. What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

"My strongest incentive to jog is guilt over paying so much for my running shoes."

Kangaroo jumping rope.

"This is the same music my fitness instructor plays for our abdominal crunches."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Where do you see your triceps in five years?"

Exercise Bike

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Taking the elevator instead of the stairs.

"Leave him alone. Remember, no pain, no gain."