Workouts Pillows

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

'I'm working off Saturday's sundae.'

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

"Lay off the pull ups, and do more push ups."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

"Hey dude, when I said curls might help, that's not what I meant."

"My personal trainer couldn't get it through his head that my arms are too short to touch my toes, so I ate him."

"This is the same music my fitness instructor plays for our abdominal crunches."

"Remember, guys – what happens in this CrossFit gym is references ad nauseam outside this CrossFit gym

"You've been in child's pose for almost three weeks. Just checking everything's OK. . ."

"Where do you see your triceps in five years?"

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth."

Spring Training

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

The real reason bears lose weight when they hibernate.

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

Sit ups.

Exercise Bike

Kangaroo jumping rope.

"My strongest incentive to jog is guilt over paying so much for my running shoes."

"I see you still haven't mastered the exercise ball."

"You were right, we should've used a smaller medicine ball."

"Leave him alone. Remember, no pain, no gain."

Taking the elevator instead of the stairs.

"Do you have a motorized one?"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"I came here to get in shape. What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Atlas Remembers Leg Day