Workout Pillows

'The directions were easy to understand...until you got past step 2.'

"Remember when these were all yoga centers?"

Anaerobics

No Exercise

Battery lifting weights

"Whatever."

"Nice work- let's take a quick social-media break."

The Phitness Quartet

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Relax. I'm the Trim Reaper. I'm here for hr flabby thighs and your spare tire.'

Machine, be good to me this year. Or else, I'm sticking you under the bed again.

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

"You exercise with your phone?"

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

Traffic warden directing people in the gym.

Never wear running shoes with a jogging suit.

Pregnant woman doing exercises.

East bound, south bound, muscle bound.

Zumba

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

"My career in weight lifting has become a huge headache."

Elephant chases peanut on stick while running on treadmill.

Martial Arts

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"As exercise, it's torture, but as torture, it's not so bad."

"Now that I've got it, what, exactly, do I do with my newfound strength?"

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Mountain Climbing Yodeler

"Let me help you, dear."

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

"Let me call you from a different machine."

"Crunch gym"

"Personal space trainer"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"I just want to work out to the point of not having to rely on my social skills."