Exercising Gifts

"I would have gone on a run."

Just Do It. Just Did It.

How can we improve our health?

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

'Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.'

"This aerobics CD skips."

Reaching the Summit

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

'I can't figure it out. I swim all day and I can't lose weight.'

The Three Graces

Small arms training

"I do exercise, stretching exercises. Got the stretch marks to prove it."

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Office Safety.

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

'I now pronunce you husband and wife.'

"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."

'I'm working off Saturday's sundae.'

A man with a shirt reading 'No Pain No Gain' runs past a man who is relaxing with a 'No Pain No Pain' shirt on.

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

"Give it a minute. They're even better warmed up."

"I can defend this hill for another hour, but then I really need to get to the gym."

'You need more activity. Start with some light dusting of your exercise equipment.'

"Hey, there are pedals on this thing!"

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

Nordic Trak Reading Machine

When I said take more exercise Mr Potter I didn't mean right now.

'That's his smart-phone: It's the only way I've found to get him to exercise...'

I love PE.

Pick your own.

Cows exercising: 'Cattlesthenics'.

'It's not an actual motorcycle. It's an exercise bike. I made it look like one so my husband would actually use it.'

'But you said to bring a heavy sweater.'

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."