Wolverine Fan Gifts

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

E-Baying @ The Moon

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Which one is yours?"

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

'Coach, were you forced to resign? ...'

"It's a full moon somewhere."

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

"Come on, we all know you're the new Alpha Male: No need to rub it in by wearing a badge..."

'Dad, this is so cool: Next month is a Blue Moon month, with two full moons instead of one!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

A were-cow.

Little pig #2 makes himself a less desireable meal.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

Job Interview with the Vampire.

'Another Scotch?'

"We're mythical. Have fun with it."

'Good question son... Any of you guys know why we howl at the full moon?

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

"He has great communication skills."