Witty Repartee Lover Gifts

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"Maybe you should try charming that snake with a flute like everybody else instead of witty repartee."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Mom can I have another apple?'

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

Cold caller.

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"You make a great point."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

Spiv

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

'To get ahead in business, you can't lose your head. Pun intended.'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

"A pox on your house red."

Wanted for Stick Up

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."