Lover Of Poignant Repartee Gifts

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

ENNUI...(smiley face).

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

Art Vandalism

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

"Stand aside! I'm a doctor of literature!"

G.K. Chesterton.

'What are you implying?'

'Never to be seen again!"

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

Might Versus Right.

Home Business - Wife.

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

Another lonely day.

"You're not distancing."