Lover Of Domestic Satire Gifts

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"Mulch madness"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Modern Damocles -

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

Knights of the Round Whatever

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!"

Art Vandalism

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"Quit with that racket - you're scaring the fish."

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"