Lover Of Social Satire Gifts

Some men taunting a gentleman on a horse

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

The prying mantis,

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"I'm after the history section."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Inhospitality tent.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

The Modern Damocles -

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'