Fan Of Social Satire Gifts

Housemaids refusing service in Belgravia - Ladies doing housework

'Can you recommend something good that won't look too fattening to passers-by?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

The Modern Damocles -

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

Knights of the Round Whatever

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.