Social Satire Lovers Gifts

'It's never an easy decision, but if you're looking for something economical, why don't you take a look at out value menu-er...Value model?'

"Call me incensitive, but I can’t stand the way it smells."

"I don't like the look of that new member."

'I'm charging you with gross indecency.'

'Not only did they overthrow me, the bums also kept the damage deposit!'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'The peasants aren't so bad, Son -- it's the bourgeoisie that's so darn judgmental!'

"On one hand this is bad for the statistics on domestic violence but on the other hand he and his wife now keep a really perfect distance."

I'm Desperate!. . . You Think He's Got Problems!

"You know, there are other emojis."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."