Societal Satire Enthusiast Gifts

Servant dismissed by master

"There's a black hole in this black hole."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Yes, one is a dog."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The prying mantis,

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Horse statue throws off rider.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"I'm after the history section."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Inhospitality tent.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

"Cartoonist are harmless? Not at all!! These people have weapons!! Here, see for yourself!"

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

Militant Pacifists

Party-Crashing Ban