Lover Of Poignant Repartee Pillows

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

Art Vandalism

'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

'What are you implying?'

"Stand aside! I'm a doctor of literature!"

G.K. Chesterton.

'Never to be seen again!"

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

Home Business - Wife.

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

Might Versus Right.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'At this price, I only have to sell one bottle to have a good year.'

Another lonely day.

"You're not distancing."