Witty Repartee Lover Mugs

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"Maybe you should try charming that snake with a flute like everybody else instead of witty repartee."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'Mom can I have another apple?'

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"You make a great point."

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Spiv

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"Honest, D-D-Dad. My report card's 'in the cloud.'"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

'To get ahead in business, you can't lose your head. Pun intended.'

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

"A pox on your house red."