Winter Survival Strategist Gifts

"It's going to be a long hard winter!"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

'I hate evolution!'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

The trap

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

"Daddy's taking him to the woodshed, again!"

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'I'll take ten, please.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Well, they have to hibernate somewhere...and your airing cupboard is no exception."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Brrr - it was so cold today I had my hands in my own pockets instead of someone elses!"

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

St Bernard Toilet Holder

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'Removal sounds politically incorrect.'

"You'll thank me when you see the heating bill."

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"

The corner that Spring's around