Winter Joke Fan Gifts

'Sorry I'm a little late with today's joke, folks.... I was busy shoveling the global warming off my driveway.'

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Cowboy Snowman: 'DRAW!' Two Cowboy Snowmen about to fight it out using their hot air Hairdryers

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"Oooo. That's cold."

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

"It's freezing out here - can I come in?"

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

"Turns out it was all water weight."

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

'No, you heard me right. I need my air conditioner fixed not my heater.'

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

"Nothing like a snow zombie."

"I'm wearing it wrong?"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Apartments for rent. Central Air!

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

"I've made a snow angel."

'Bless you.'

Woman sunbathing on snowy balcony under sunlamp.

Carrot shortage goes on.

'Is it plugged in, or isn't it? There's only one way to find out!'