Winter Comedy Fan Gifts

As it was a cold evening, Lily chucks on some more coal.

'Have you shoveled the snow off the walkway?'

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Little help?"

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"Well, hello there yourself!"

Well, technically, no, you don't have seasonal affective disorder.

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

"Oooo. That's cold."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

"It's freezing out here - can I come in?"

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

The only place it's okay to pick your nose.

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

'No, you heard me right. I need my air conditioner fixed not my heater.'

About Santa 2017.

The Itchy Back

"I've made a snow angel."

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

"I'm wearing it wrong?"

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."