Seasonal Joke Fan Gifts

Spring Ambushed

"Little help?"

Try me/try me/try me...

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'He's got your nose.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

Missing Daylight: So dark. So cold.

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

'This way! We will grant you sanctuary!'

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

An Amazon drone crashes into Santa's sleigh

Full Serve/Elf Serve

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"Nice tree! Did you chew that one down yourself?"

The Itchy Back

Santa Claus uses drones to deliver presents on Christmas.

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'Bless you.'

How to Tell Spring is Here.