Window Humorists Gifts

'Our house is directly in the migratory path of Canada geese, so we keep the windows open until mid-November.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Large print e-book.

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Magic Act

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"All our flow charts are backing up!"

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

Ancient Egyptian eye tests.

Gunswinger

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test