Vintage Humorist Gifts

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Your barn door is open."

The Formation of the British Volunteer Force, 1859

'After walking a million miles for one of her smiles, Al Jolson's Mammy was in a foul mood'

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Dropped my dentures.'

Ready Knotted Handkerchiefs

Early mobile phones

"How do you plug this in?"

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"Hail, Caesar!"

Gunswinger

"Shaketh."

"Same as in WWII - out in '39 and back in '45!"

Early American Think Tank.

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

Coavinses

Woman offering to kiss a man if he votes for Lord James

Man with key to the alcohol cupboard

A Women Falls Into A Brook.

"Take it from me, madam—the passing years can only add to the value of this Spiro T. Agnew standing hall clock."

"I've been out on the North forty, Sarah. It's a lot like the South forty."

Victorian mother finds adult paintings under bed

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.