Vintage Meets Modern Humorist Gifts

A horse driving a sports car tows an Amish buggy.

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Before Cordless Light Sabers

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Peter Cook

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

W.C. Fields

The Enemy

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"