Vintage Vs Modern Humorist Gifts

"Hold on -- I think it's set on vibrate."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Peter Cook

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

The Enemy

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

Gunswinger

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Lemonade App: $1"

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.