Wig Wearer Gifts

Reflexes.

'If you must know, because my hairpiece blew away!'

Wife shouts to husband leving for work: 'Hold it! Wrong wig!'

Hairdryer blows man's wig off his head.

...taken my toupee for a walk...

'Who ever says crime doesn't pay isn't a lawyer!'

'I had that dream where I go out in public without my hairpiece again.'

'Nice try, Herb.'

"Laugh all you want, I know it's a wig, but it's keeping me warm!"

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Silly wig.

A man taking a bow

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Lady in a pretty dress

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

Edward Elgar.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

Judge getting hair done.

A new opera-glass for the year 1777

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

A Head-Dress in 1777

Barrister startled by a witness' description of him

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"That wig makes you look 10 years sillier!"

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

'Yes dear, I was in a hurry to get home, why?'

Nice toupee, Dr. Kapuchnik. But … is it honest? At least a toupee is honest about its dishonesty, Al. Compared to what? A beret.