Wig Wearers Gifts

The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Joe giveth back.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Silly wig.

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

A man taking a bow

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Lady in a pretty dress

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Edward Elgar.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

A new opera-glass for the year 1777

Judge getting hair done.

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

A Head-Dress in 1777

Barrister startled by a witness' description of him

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

"Wig or the wisp?"

"That wig makes you look 10 years sillier!"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

The five orders of periwigs

Tonsure Toupee

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

On a windy day in 1735, a new wig gives Bernoulli an idea.

"I couldn't find my other wig."

'Yes dear, I was in a hurry to get home, why?'

Nice toupee, Dr. Kapuchnik. But … is it honest? At least a toupee is honest about its dishonesty, Al. Compared to what? A beret.

'Well, if you must run your fingers through my hair.'