White Collar Crime Critic Gifts

"The government certainly isn't wasting our hard earned tax money...we're tax evaders!"

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Financial Corruption

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

See no evidence, hear no evidence, speak no evidence.

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

Don't worry, we're anti gun control.

"I was just trying to kick-start the economy. Guess I kicked too hard."

'My only regret is not waiting for deregulation.'

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

"What we're going to say to the jury is 'Love the embezzler. Hate the embezzlement."

"How do you feel about doing time?"

"Thou shalt not kill. It's a sin. But people still commit murders, I'm happy to say. And the state kills the murderers...I'm twice as happy to say."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

Any shohplifters with a social conscience avoids small businesses.

"The real money is in not getting caught."

'When to sell a stock? My rule has been to do it when I'm ready to skip the country with my client's assets.'

'You're a legend, sir. We studied you in our criminal justice class.'

Brewer & Jones: Washington, DC, New York, Attica, Leavenworth, Sing Sing.

"I was at a high-powered investment firm for seven years and a high-powered penal institution for a year and a half."

'I'm a grandfather. How would you like it if someone mugged your grandfather.'

'I need a new hobby in here. I used to be into creative accounting.'

White Collar Crime.

'I loved working for the bank. I was taking home $250,000 a week.'

Plea Bargain Deals of the Rich and Famous

"I don't appreciate you questioning my integrity. Especially since I've skipped town and can't be there to defend it."

"This was not in the Audit Plan."

Accounting Department, Legal Department, Jail.

"'Small potatoes' is no defense."