White Collar Criminal Gifts

"How do you feel about doing time?"

"I keep pretty busy on the outside. If it weren't for these occasional incarcerations, I'd never get any vacation at all."

"It's important that no one see us talking together."

Computer monitor for a head.

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

White Collar Crime.

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Business Sisyphus

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

Financial Corruption

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"I was just trying to kick-start the economy. Guess I kicked too hard."

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

'It's a vicious cycle Walters.'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'Another stressful day at the office dear?'

'My only regret is not waiting for deregulation.'

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

'I think I'd have an easier time thinking out-of-the-box if I didn't have to spend the entire day in a cubicle.'

"What we're going to say to the jury is 'Love the embezzler. Hate the embezzlement."

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."

'Look, I've been in meetings all day...I'll clean my dish in the morning.'

A rabbit sits at an office desk, the edges of which are lined with numerous framed pictures of his many offspring.

'Honey! I got promoted to long sleeves!'

"The real money is in not getting caught."