White Collar Crime Gifts

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'I loved working for the bank. I was taking home $250,000 a week.'

Brewer & Jones: Washington, DC, New York, Attica, Leavenworth, Sing Sing.

Computer monitor for a head.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

White Collar Crime.

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

Business Sisyphus

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

Financial Corruption

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

"At last, a country that welcomes poor refugees like me..."

"I was just trying to kick-start the economy. Guess I kicked too hard."

'It's a vicious cycle Walters.'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'Another stressful day at the office dear?'

'My only regret is not waiting for deregulation.'

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

'I think I'd have an easier time thinking out-of-the-box if I didn't have to spend the entire day in a cubicle.'

"What we're going to say to the jury is 'Love the embezzler. Hate the embezzlement."

"How do you feel about doing time?"

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."

'Look, I've been in meetings all day...I'll clean my dish in the morning.'

"The real money is in not getting caught."

A rabbit sits at an office desk, the edges of which are lined with numerous framed pictures of his many offspring.

'Honey! I got promoted to long sleeves!'