Whiskey Witticist Pillows

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Trump Poutine

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"Hey, who wants to hear a great single-malt story."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

The Angel's Share

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

Whiskey Bottle - Well it doesn't look like a paperweight to me.

Beethoven's 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Fifth.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

Scotch and soda on a drip.

Ethics Committee Meeting Today, BYOB.

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

Pressing Problem

Witty T-Shirt Guy

"Whiskey and splash coming up!"

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

This whisky is 20 years old!

"Domestication has seemed to completely pass him by."

'My mother WARNED me not to marry a Bourbon!'